Cake!!!

Chocolate Cake! He dug right in without any hesitation! He even grabbed his sister's ice cream and cake too! He is having his first birthday bash on Halloween because that was the day I got to hold him for the first time.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Brayden!

Almost one year later.

It's almost one year since my life completely changed.I am not the same person I used to be. I look at things differently and appreciate more than I ever did. When you have a baby, you expect to take that baby home with you. It is such a happy time period. My 6 weeks post partum was the most stress I have ever had in my life. I lost my son, and gave birth to his brother who had to fight for his life. I held on to my baby that passed away in utero before I got to hold my son in the incubator.

What an experience. Wow, I have learned a lot. When doctors told us that the first 72 hours are the most critical time period for my 27 weeker and that he could possibly die. I knew he wouldn't die. I just knew. I knew when I looked at him in the OR during my C-Section he would be fine. I didn't know about disabilities but I knew he would be with me. I didn't care if he had any disabilities. I told God that I will do whatever it takes and to "Keep him with me." I remember crying and shaking before my C-Section and telling Brady, "I'm so sorry buddy, I'm not that strong, I can't stop crying." I was afraid of the unknown. Well,

what do I know now? I know that Brayden is the most amazing little boy I have ever met. He smiles at me all the time and he even gives me the cute "cute, wet, open mouth kisses." I have learned to take nothing for granted. I have learned not to dwell on Brady's milestones, he will get there. I am so grateful he is here. God is good! He claps, eats like a horse, sits up and plays, and is so close to crawling. We love him! I know his brother Joshua Aaron is close by and watching him.

Praying

I'm at a loss of words. I am suscribed to another blog about a preemie born with a chronic lung disease. This baby was named Natalie Evelyn and she was beautiful. She was born in Febuary, I believe at 33 weeks gestation. Natalie fought for her life and had many ups and downs. Natalie passed away a couple of days ago unexpectedly.

My heart aches. I am so saddened hearing about this. I have been thinking about Natalie's Mother all day long.

Natalies blog is www.babygirltee-jennifer.blogspot.com

Jennifer I am praying for you and your family! I'm so sorry for your loss!

Loving life.

We have been having fun with this fantastic weather, I would call this year's fall a"Fantastic Fall." I can't believe he is going to be one year old soon. Where does the time go?

My chunker

Blogging is hard because I am so busy with nursing school. I only have 12 weeks left until this crazy semester is over. I am having some difficulties juggling, school, work and my beautiful babies. My kids are worth it. I want to become an RN and I am so close to being done with my degree. I am going to continue to keep doing what I am doing and study like crazy.

Lizzie is doing well, she is a princess as always and makes me laugh. I never know what she is going to say and she sometimes makes me laugh so hard that I cry. She is really likes to count now. If I only could get her better with her saying her R's and L's. Oh well, she'll get there.

My husband is amazing, he is supporting me through this and is helping around the house and making sure he supports me during this crazy journey of school. He takes Brady to PT on Tuesdays for me which makes things easy for me.

Brayden really really wants to crawl. He is trying so hard. I think we might be crawling in a couple months. I call him my "Bottom less Pit," He eats everything I give him. It's so funny to watch. He even loves mashed up avocado. He is so chunky in the middle it cracks me up. Brayden wants to get into everything. He is at that age now, everything that is in front of him is fair game now. I am so happy to see him smile at me everyday. He is such a happy boy. His PT wanted to give him a break, but I really want him to stay in PT. They say he is caught up, but I want him to stay there so they can get him to crawl. They teach me the exercises and we practice at home. I love you little man!

I had an emotional weekend. I went to the NICU grad reunion ice cream social and it was nice. I went to see the doctors and NURSES that held me together in the toughest time of my life. I saw so many 26 weekers and so many preemies that were in Brayden's pod. I broke down and cried a couple of times. I thought to myself that Joshua should be here too, and that I wish he was here. I haven't been to this hospital because of all the memories I had here. Some are good, some are a bad dream. I hugged so many nurses that held my hand and said, "He is going to be alright." The doctor that was there the night he was born was so happy to see him. She told my husband when I was in recovery puking, " I don't know about this little boy, he's sick." All I could think was, "Look at him now!" He sits up and eats like a horse. He plays and loves people. He's amazing! I had to tell one nurse "Thank you," because when Brady was a month old, she said, "He's so beautiful, Congrats!" I thanked her for saying Congrats to me because no one ever said that to me when he was born. Everyone was so happy we went. Brayden was so tired because I woke him up when he was sleeping when we arrived. One Nurse came up to and said,"I remember him, there was something about his face, he looks so wise."

Oh, my favorite time of year is here! Fall! Bring on the chili, apples, and football!

How time flies!

New Post soon!

A three year old birthday, two new teeth for Brady, Brady sits up on his own now, andMommy is back in school. We have been so busy!

Here's one of my favorite pics!

Not a good day for Mom!

I keep praying and praying to keep going strong. Brayden was diagnosed with hypotonia of his legs and it was hard to hear it. I knew it all along and it just hurt hearing it. I had a hard time hearing that he could be in a walker and never walk without one. We really don't know yet. I need to take one day at a time and it's so hard to do. I kept thinking that all I have been doing is doctor appointments and I am so sick of all of it! I've had enough! I just want to stay home and plan Lizzie's birthday. But no, I am at the doctor's office finding out why Brayden is wheezing. Allergies as I suspected. He weighs 16 pounds and 1 ounce.

I am so thankful to have my son and daughter in my life. I just wish sometimes we could fast forward to see what the future holds and then go back.

I break down, I'm not as strong as I thought I was.

On a more positive note, Lizzie has a princess tea party tomorrow and I'm more excited than her. I love her so much, Jayson is letting me go with her and it will be a "Girls Day."

She turns 3 on Saturday. Here's her giving me a smooch last year.

Late night Blogging

Girls jumping on the bed. Becka, Sophie, and Lizzie in the back.

Zach, Jake, Lizzie, Jay, Brady, and Mariah at the zoo.

Looking too cute! Little chunker!

Well, it has been crazy busy around here lately. I'm back at work and let's just say that midnights are kicking my butt. In the past week, we have went to zoo, beach, and Brady's Physical therapy. Oh, and we have a birthday party to plan for my sweet daughter, I love her so much! She really loves her brother and learns something new everyday.

Physical therapy is going great, I'm so glad that I take him. It was my decision and I wanted to be proactive and we are making progress. Brady's PT is named Dallin and she is so wonderful. She teaches me so many things to do with him. Today, she put Brady on a type of hard pillow under his arms and he attempted to crawl. It was so neat to see. He isn't developmentally behind, he just needs some help. I'm sure we will have developmental delays because most preemies do. There are a lot of special needs kids at the PT center and they are amazing kids. I used to be so "Afraid" of Brady having to use a walker or wheelchair. Not anymore, I have accepted that "It is what it is." And I love seeing the kids at Brady's PT. I don't like not knowing what his future will be like and that I will still have to take one day at a time. It's amazing what we take for granted everyday. Also, I am so proud of Lizzie when she goes. She is such a good girl! She sits and watches her brother and cheers him on. There is this princess book at PT and she likes to read it everytime she comes in to PT. So she looks forward to seeing her favorite book there. LOL!

We spent some time at the zoo and I don't know when I will learn my lesson. Go in the Fall when it isn't 95 degrees. Oh the sweat and stinky animals! After 3 hours, we are already to leave and the animals are so hot that they don't come out. We did this last year and I ended up being dehydrated and Lizzie was so miserable. We also took our niece and newphews, Jacob, Zach, and Mariah. Lizzie enjoyed the penguins, and Brady liked the Turtles. Overall, we had a great time and will go next year in the Fall.

This week we went to the beach with my Aunt and her kids. It was a private beach and it was fun watching the kids play. Oh, how Mom loves when Lizzie and Brayden go to bed because they are so tired from all the playing. Poor Brayden, he rolled over into a pile of sand nose first and it wasn't pretty! Next time, I am taking the pack and play. Lizzie liked the sand and looking at all the rocks. And my Aunt's kids had a fun time too!

All for now, we just finally watched the Blindside and it was good, we don't watch a lot of T.V. but it was a great flick. It's nice to have Jayson home, he has been gone for two days in Novi doing a training for Best Buy.

Summer Fun!

At the fireworks. Notice Lizzie with her Ariel, she goes everywhere with us.

Summer fun!

We have been busy with summer. It seems like there is always something to do. I'm back to juggling work in my life. Yep, it was time. I missed my patients. I work at a rehabilitation facility, and I missed it so much. I love taking care of my patients and like to make their stay better for them. I always think that if I had to go into a Nursing home (it's like a nursing home) that I would be depressed. I try to make their day! There is no place like home, as we all know. I was in the hospital for 9 days and I was so ready break out. I'm sure anyone who has been a hospital for over a few days can relate. Anyhow, that's going good.

Oh, and I love to shop. That's another reason I needed a job. Not for myself but for my house and kids. I got some decor for the living room and some organizers for the collection of toys that I've accumulated over the past 3 years. Brady loves his toys, but sometimes I wonder why I buy Lizzie stuff. She's happy playing in a big box. She loves to pretend she's a princess. Today she was sweeping my floor saying she was Snow White.

Project tummy didn't go so well at all for the first week. Then I called to get Brady an appointment for Physical Therapy through our local hospital. I told them that he wasn't rolling over well or touching his toes. The next day: He's touching his toes. Then after his first PT appointment: He's rolling EVERYWHERE. That little bugger. We go twice a week to PT and I am pleased with his Physical therapist. I researched her before I started and I am impressed. His insurance covers it as well. He does not have hypotonia in his abdomen but he just needs to strengthen his core. They don't see anything wrong with his muscle tone but, it's still very early. Ahh, the waiting game continues. Don't I just love waiting.....not my favorite.

More updates to come soon.

Ronald Hoekstra, MD, micro preemie study

Some inspiration for preemie parents.

Project Tummy!

So here goes, I am terrible at tummy time! Why? He absolutely hates it. I thought if he did for 20 minutes then we would be okay, well, I was wrong. Brady needs some upper body strength in his arms and he isn't rolling over to his belly. He sure tries to roll over to his belly and he gets so upset when he can't roll onto his belly. I have an appointment scheduled for him next Thursday with our local hospital's PT. His insurance will cover it, thank god! The truth is: ALL BABIES NEED TUMMY TIME! I was not worried because he was rolling over from tummy to back.

I found this blog with tons of information. http://www.therapyforbabies.blogspot.com/ It was established by a PT named Vickie Dakin. She has a TON of information on preemies. She had some ideas that I could Brady interested in tummy time. She also said that they need about 5 minutes an hour.

So what else is new? Lizzie has a cold, the poor girl. She's coughing, and sneezing. It's summer, apparently there is a summer virus going around. She is Almost potty trained, she still gets a diaper at night time. I hate to see her sick, she's so sweet and loves her brother.

As for me, I am going back to work on Tuesday! Super excited. And my husband is busy working a million hours, he does so much for us that I am happy to contribute.

Oh, and I am sorry I don't have any good pics up, More to come. I am posting one of Lizzie in this post.

My Story

A little of our story. We grew up in Michigan and we live in a very small town where there is only one stop light. I am a "small town girl" and I love it! I am starting this blog for others to follow my son and my family. My son is a surviving twin from TTTS and was born 12 1/2 weeks early. He is strong and makes me smile everyday. He was born on October 26th, 2009 at 1:58 pm by emergency C-Section (The most frightening days of my life). I watched him grow in a "Fish Tank" (that's what my three year old called it when she first saw her brother). I sobbed when she first looked at him, she quietly said to me, "Momma, the baby sleepin, good night baby." She had to watch her brother get hooked up to a C-Pap, and got see all those tubes.

The NICU is so hard and demanding, I can remember the sleepless night and crying myself to sleep because I just wanted my little boy home. I would like to start this blog for others because it may provide hope and inspiration for their preemie. When you are in the NICU, you can only take one day at a time, and when you see a tiny little baby that doesn't look like the baby you pictured when you got pregnant, it can be rough. They call the NICU an emotional rollercoster, but I would never consider it a rollercoster because you choose to get on the rollercoster at that theme park, and with the NICU rollercoster you have no choice but to hop on. Oh, and let's not forget getting up every three hours to go pump breast milk. And I looked like I was a homeless drug addict during those days.

The problems my son experienced while in the NICU are: BPD, ROP stage 2, IVH stage 1 (it resolved on it's own), anemia (three blood transfusions), twin gestation, hyponatremia, and a few more that I may be forgetting at this time. He was on a vent for 4 days and a C-pap for 2 days and was on a nasal cannula for 6 weeks. He did come home without oxygen. He is doing well today and is a happy baby. He came home on January 5th 2010.

He amazes me everyday and I know his brother Joshua is an angel watching over him. Losing his brother is hard to talk about for me at this time.

The Croswell Fair!

Today we went to the 128 annual Croswell Fair. All day Lizzie was talking about the fair and she couldn't wait to go. Even though, there are only three rides there that she could actually ride.

She told me that Jayson (my husband) was taking her to the Fair. And I asked, "You mean Daddy, right?" She said, "My Jayson is taking me." Too cute. Little girls and their Daddys.

Anyhow, we had a great time at the fair and Lizzie enjoyed the carousel and french fries. Brayden fell asleep and slept through the whole thing.( We didn't go until 9pm, which is his bed time)

I have a huge family, and it was so nice for them to meet my son Brady.(even though he fell asleep) Brady being 3 months premature, he didn't need to meeting any extra bugs due to his premature immune system. So it was the first time he met some of my crazy family. LOL!

Oh, and this is my first Blog, exciting!