Thursday, October 21, 2010

Almost one year later.

It's almost one year since my life completely changed.I am not the same person I used to be. I look at things differently and appreciate more than I ever did. When you have a baby, you expect to take that baby home with you. It is such a happy time period. My 6 weeks post partum was the most stress I have ever had in my life. I lost my son, and gave birth to his brother who had to fight for his life. I held on to my baby that passed away in utero before I got to hold my son in the incubator.

What an experience. Wow, I have learned a lot. When doctors told us that the first 72 hours are the most critical time period for my 27 weeker and that he could possibly die. I knew he wouldn't die. I just knew. I knew when I looked at him in the OR during my C-Section he would be fine. I didn't know about disabilities but I knew he would be with me. I didn't care if he had any disabilities. I told God that I will do whatever it takes and to "Keep him with me." I remember crying and shaking before my C-Section and telling Brady, "I'm so sorry buddy, I'm not that strong, I can't stop crying." I was afraid of the unknown. Well,

what do I know now? I know that Brayden is the most amazing little boy I have ever met. He smiles at me all the time and he even gives me the cute "cute, wet, open mouth kisses." I have learned to take nothing for granted. I have learned not to dwell on Brady's milestones, he will get there. I am so grateful he is here. God is good! He claps, eats like a horse, sits up and plays, and is so close to crawling. We love him! I know his brother Joshua Aaron is close by and watching him.

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